Manassas Fan Girl!

We attended the Manassas city council meeting on the 13th of February, and were greeted by our fan girl! Notice Councilwoman Tonya Edwards snapping paparazzi photos as we entered and began setting up our equipment:

While she was snapping these photos, I was reminded of my Naval Academy days. Tourists were always snapping photos like this; I always thought it was kind of flattering, especially when a tourist would want to have a picture taken with some of us in front of any of a number of historic Annapolis monuments.

Sometimes, though, this experience was a little sad. The saddest pictures were those taken by the girls that the Naval Academy would bus in for dance classes. As part of that whole officer and a gentleman thing, midshipmen were taught formal dances and cultured behavior, such as which fork to use when repelling boarders. I had imported my own dance and social partner, my Mississippi high school sweetheart and now-wife Audrey, but given the thousand-plus midshipmen in each class, there was clearly a deficit in available girls to fill the role. To give the midshipmen practice, the academy would bus in girls from several states away, often as far away as North Carolina, or beyond. Midshipmen, being the college boys they are, called these dance events “Pig Pushes”, for fairly obvious and unfortunate reasons. I have heard that West Pointers of the era called these same type of events “Drags”. Perhaps the New York area had a higher proportion of transvestites who would hop the buses. More than a few “manly girls” made it into the Annapolis dances as it was.

As you might expect, many of these girls, the actual female variety that is, were lonely and overlooked in their own hometowns, and jumped at the chance to snare themselves a future Navy or Marine Corps officer in their own fantasy of a Cinderella story. Unlike Cinderella, or for that matter, my own Audrey, these forlorn hopes were in vain for most of these girls. No sweetheart movie ending was in the cards for them, and they knew it. Regardless, these girls would ask us to take dozens of pictures of them with their midshipmen “dates”, so that they could revisit that Cinderella fantasy over and over. Sometimes their demands for pictures were quite elaborate, building entire little fantasy stories of how they danced, dined, loved and laughed with the midshipman of their dreams, the belle of the ball in their own minds, hoping to impress their friends back home for years to come.

I was reminded of that same sad and desperate zeal when Councilwoman Edwards began snapping photos that night. Although her behavior is a little on the bizarre side, it is only a taste of some of the bizarre practices encountered in our investigation of city operations. Stay tuned as we watch Manassas officials continue to unravel while we relentlessly probe into their evasive and deceptive practices.

Perhaps Councilwoman Edwards is trying to capture some last-ditch photos from the perspective of her council seat, her own version of a Cinderella fantasy spinning horribly out of control. To help Councilwoman Edwards with her scrapbooking, here is a Naval Academy photo of me on watch Halloween of my senior year, restoring order in my own special way.

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Similarly, you, dear reader, get to watch as our Leech City Chainsaw of Truth hacks relentlessly through webs of deception and evasion, revealing corruption and restoring truth and good governance anywhere necessary to benefit the citizens of Tattnall and surrounding counties. No need for paparazzi, we’ll document it all for you on these pages.

Have a hot tip on a public leech, or know someone who has been targeted by a local petty tyrant? Have a public interest event coming up? To let us know about anything of interest to the community, see the Contact Us link at the top of the page.

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